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'People don't make time to smell the roses'
Sonam Kapoor on casual hook-ups, sex and long-term relationships...
What's your definition of love?
If you truly love a person, you have to respect that person first. You do not try to change the person. Which is why I love the Mughal-e -Azam romance. She was a nautch girl and he was the future king, but status didn't matter to either of them. That's love. Unfortunately, people from my generation don't get that. They try to ride on each other and are very selfish. For me, it is important that the person I am in love with makes me feel comfortable. He needs to be sensitive, compassionate and intellectual.
What's your take on extra-marital affairs?
Disgusting! There is no excuse for an extra-marital affair. I will never forgive my partner if he cheats on me. I will not be able to trust him anymore. I will just walk out.
What comes first, love or sex?
For me, love.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Because men only think about two things - sex and food.
How will you know when you find the one?
When you meet the person, you know. When I connect with the right person, a bell in my head will ring. And when he's not there, I will miss him.
Is marriage necessary?
I am very old fashioned. I don't believe in live-in relationships. Marriage is necessary for me.
Would you prefer a love or an arranged marriage?
Either, I have no rules about this.
Shouldn't marriages come with expiry dates?
Not expiry dates, but yes, we must grow together.
To what extent will you go to save your relationship?
I am a loyalist. I will try to iron out the problems because for me, marriage is for keeps.
What would you not forgive in love?
Disrespect to me or my parents.
Do you have any keepsakes in the name of love?
I wrote a poem when I was 15 years old. It's about me, who I am, who I want to be, how I want to live my life. When I meet my love, I am going to give him this poem.
When two people are in love, who do you think should make the first move?
The one who is more evolved.
How important is being in love?
It is very important to me. But unfortunately, I haven't met the right person.
Do you have any pre-conceived notions about love?
I have the most beautiful rich girl struggling boy story in my own family. My parents dated for 11 years because my father was very clear that he would marry my mother only after he earned well enough to provide for her. My mother was sure that she would marry only him and so she waited till he was settled. That's the kind of love I believe in. Sadly, people my age have stopped learning how to work on their relationships, how to be patient, or sit back and smell the roses.
Among all human traits, which is the one that you particularly appreciate?
There are two, actually - patience and trust.
You are fashion conscious. Do well-groomed looks promise a good relationship?
One doesn't have to follow fashion trends to sustain a relationship. In any case, Indian men do not understand fashion. I will have to groom him.
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