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Extramarital affairs are bad: Neena Gupta


What is your definition of love?

I feel the only kind of love there is is that of a mother for a child. All other relationships are out of habit.

If that is so, why do people in love feel so lovey-dovey ?

It is actually more a feeling of gratitude and habit, both of which you cannot do without either.

What has been the most romantic moment in your life?

My daughter's birth. It is the most precious moment in my life and makes me believe in love.

What's your take on extra-marital affairs?

They're very bad for everybody. The men can have fun and then leave a woman without any compunction. Also, today if one has a fight with his partner, if the woman is his wife, it is difficult for the husband to walk out. But if she is his girlfriend, he can leave her very easily.

Name the film(s) you find the most romantic.

I always enjoy watching Dev Anand-Waheeda Rehman's Guide and Dilip Kumar-Madhubala's Mughal-e-Azam.

And the most romantic book you've read?

Gone with the Wind.

When it comes to feeling love and talking about enduring relationships, you talk about the mother-child equation. But when it comes to romantic films and books, you give examples which are far removed from maternal love. Why?

I really cannot explain that. I simply go with my gut.

What keeps your relationship going?


How do you know he is the one for you?

My husband is a very good person at heart. We have the same tastes and choice. He is a family man and likes to help everyone. He is also a very intelligent man. Intelligence in a man gives me a real high.

What about sensitivity?

Well, no man is truly sensitive to a woman's needs.

Is marriage necessary?

Marriage is very important if you want to live in society.

And you are saying that?

Yes, I am saying that. Nobody knew what I had to go through.

So why didn't you marry earlier?

I did not find the right person.

Did you ever have any preconceived notions about love and marriage?

When I was younger, I never used to feel the need to get married.

What would you not forgive in love?

Never say never. Once I had thought that I would never forgive someone. But times change and you realize your feelings have more to do with circumstances than a person.

Is monogamy unnatural?

Monogamy is difficult as men have more of a roving eye because of the power they experience at all levels vis-a-vis a woman. Women are more committed because of the kids. Women's empowerment can never happen till they continue to bear children. A child compels a woman to make compromises and adjustments.

Would you rather have unrequited love or no love at all?

I really do not know.

Reader's opinion (15)

Shinoj BcApr 6th, 2011 at 16:01 PM

Neena thoughts are not universal. It is very much a voice of traditional Indian women. I won't say ladies now are wiser but Neena words are very much from her experience and unfulfilled emotions.It is easy to walk out of a relationship, but for that ladies should support themselves and be independe

Sunil JhaApr 5th, 2011 at 19:57 PM

Ages progressed maturity automatically comes & start talking with much rationality.You learn form your mistake and define the relationship and love objectively and define from your own personal experience. Nina Gupta's view about love,extramarital and monogamy,we may disagree but have to respect

Sadasivam NatarajanMar 27th, 2011 at 09:27 AM

guide is the story of a girl who walks out of marriage as her husband is not sensitive to her dancing.In gone with the wind the wives ask their husbands about a brothel where they were forced to take shelter.here Mrgret mitchell tries to to touch upon minds of women.A woman cannot be correct always

Jagdish PrasadFeb 26th, 2011 at 15:38 PM

NEENA GUPTA'S COMMENTS OM EXTRAMARITAL RELATIONSHIP ARE INTERESTING.What has made her wise regarding this? Anyhow she has once again shown faith in age old belief would lighten the path for all those who believe in going to any extant for 'love'[or lust]

Shrey TandonFeb 4th, 2011 at 15:02 PM

Guys Thats being pretty rude on your part(most of you). A person's perceptions are devised according to his experiences only, so if you have a diff. exp as compared to her, stop cribbing and be matured, and guys all of you know what is the % of guys that won't just check out a passing girl, answer t

Shekar IyerFeb 4th, 2011 at 14:47 PM

We Never get what we want.
We Never want what we get.
We Never have what we like.
We Never like what we have.
Still we live, love and hope...truly this is life!! Neena is a afterall one among the confused lot...how typical!!

Ravi NagFeb 4th, 2011 at 09:15 AM

All I can say about Neena is that she is a brave women and I admire her for that. She had the guts to live life the way she wanted to. Few of us would have had the guts to do that.

Anupriya NadarFeb 3rd, 2011 at 10:43 AM

Thats her view of life formed through her experiences... I think the monogamous guys out there shouldn't need to worry... :)

Sanjeeb NathFeb 2nd, 2011 at 00:38 AM

Probably Neena has never met any real man.Do men have only roving eyes? Hasn't she yet met a man with a heart. And empowerment, is it not so simple to understand that neither man nor woman are empowered without the either? actually it is the child bearing capacity that gives real power to a woman

Anil AgrawalFeb 1st, 2011 at 20:58 PM

How long does it take to be wise? 25 years? 30 years?

Mumbai KerFeb 1st, 2011 at 19:54 PM

Well this is the personal story & tragedy of Neena she trusted but didn't get trust in return.

May god bless her with strong heart to survive the life.

Ranju ShirishFeb 1st, 2011 at 18:41 PM

99.99 men can't ever be trusted with loyalty, and they always have had free reins, even supported to a sad state of affairs. For women, children are definately her chains, and any deviation from marriage means unmanageable problems. Some are choiceless too, unsolvable problem indeed!

Ashish MonaniJan 31st, 2011 at 13:55 PM

I have same doubt as Mr Ajit Kumar do. All men are not same as she thinks.

Ajit Kumar PanditJan 30th, 2011 at 14:50 PM

I agree with Neena Gupta but I couldn't understand her mind in case of Monogamy status and sensitivity of men about women's need becouse all men are not so as her thought.

Lipika RahaJan 29th, 2011 at 12:25 PM

I disagree with Neena only on one point...that is a woman can not be empowered because she is a mother. Her own life contradicts that.

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